So for the past couple of months now I been feeling depressed and been feeling like shit which is why you don't see me on all the time like I used to. But now it just seem like I hit the rock bottom and I feel like giving up on a lot of things ( Not suicide serious or anything just hobbies and such ).
After I went to school I moved closer to the school and by doing that I cut off from all my friends I made back at my high school and that made me quite lonely since I'm the type of guy that cant make friends easy. So I just sit at home and play games since that is really my only type of social interactions.
I do have a girlfriend that trys to help me out but lately it seems like shes even giving up on me since my mood changes drastically throughout the day. One minute I feel fine and happy and then the next minute I just hate the world and become sad.
I just made the decision to drop college since my grades have been suffering from this since I don't feel like doing anything school work related and just want to do things for myself.
I also finally told my dad about this and told me to get my a doctor appointment since getting help would be good for me but even then I don't think he understands my situation a lot.
I just been lonely and I have no one to really connect to, even my girlfriend cant understand me that much right now.
I just cant help but feel worthless :/
I hate doing it but the only sure way for me to feel good is taking my left over painkillers that I got from my knee surgery a while back but I really dislike doing that since I know I'm not really suppose to do that. Even know im writing this while on them.
I know I have some good friends I can talk to but I don't know....I just beginning to feel nothing....just no emotion at all and even though I know there trying to help me I just can't get happy
Also excuse my bad grammar or spelling and such English was never one of my strong areas
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I feel like shit
Blog entry posted by Korean, Mar 13, 2013.
sajak likes this.