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Divorces.

Discussion in Everything & Anything started by FluffehKitteh, Jun 14, 2014

  1. Oct 18, 2012
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    Recently my mom and step dad have been fighting a lot and just told me a few days ago that they were getting divorced in October. Several reasons why they want to get divorced. For one my step dads reason is because shes bipolar and she doesn't like it when hes not home. Hes home every weekend but never on the week days. But these are all what they are saying why they want to get divorced. When they fight its never physical but very loud and its usually my mom who screams and get really angry. And when I say angry I mean Furious. This is all from my point of view though. A few days ago I cried for the first time in front of my mom and step dad in about 2-3 years because of their fight. I couldn't take it anymore and just broke down in the back seat. When my mom saw me she got really shocked and stopped fighting with my step dad since today. I don't know what happened but I don't know anymore. I guess what i'm here for is has anyone's parents got divorced and what happened/how did you manage? I'm really stressed out and I know my mom and step dad are to. She keeps saying we might move or something but I honestly don't. If I move again this will be my 3rd new school and place. I hate it.
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    • May 2, 2013
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      my dear fwuffehkitteh i dont know how to spare people so i wont spare you! when my parents divorced i was like 6 years old the moving that comes with it and all the other stuff is pretty damn hard to take, it will be hard i moved schools 6 times in my life because of the divorce since my mommy is immigrant and her diplomas were invalid here. it suuuucccks... a lot. i need to add too parents should never argue in front of their children nor lie to them they have no fucking idea how much this affects a childs development it affected and i still remember that day as if it happened yesterday! outta nowhere my mom took us in a car with one of her friends and we just left. So the only thing i can do for you is get you prepared, be prepared it doesnt mean itll hurt less but u know it helps... well i dont know if you have a good that relationship with ur stepdad so i dont rly know how itll go for you but yeah im not good with words so for me thats pretty much it!
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      • Sep 14, 2008
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        I've been through this. My mom and dad were not compatible people. They were great friends but terrible husband and wife. My mom was unhappy because my father was a jerk to her. But once they got a divorce they were both extremely happy. In all honesty, as long as they were happy me and my brother were happy.
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        • Oct 18, 2012
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          :c i'm sorry welsper. Also to add to my school moving, If I do move it'll be my 3rd school within this year and last year. Me and my step dad don't really have a relationship. Basicly just like a person I know living with me. He doesn't like kids nor even talks to me so I just stay away from him. I usually just stay in my room. When my mom gets mad at me from staying in my room to much she makes me come sit in the living room with them and watch tv ect. But its really awkward around me and him.



          I'm sorry they got divorced but happy you guys were happy :grin:
        • Jun 11, 2012
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          I'm sorry about the ordeal. I didn't go through such a ordeal. Sucks about changing school more than 2 times. The "my mom is yelling at me and it's making me sad" that you kept mentioning on mumble makes sense now. Hard Shell, develop it. Attachment is what we make of things we would want to be permanent. But in your case, at that age, it affects greatly. Hang in there.

          Reading the thread.
          [IMG]
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          • Jun 10, 2011
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            I think I was quite lucky in this respect. My parents were divorced before I was even 1 year old, and my mother only moved us about 10min down the road. By the time I was old enough to remember, they'd finished their fighting, realised they just weren't compatible, and decided to work amicably to raise their children. Albiet in seperate households. For years, my mother told me that she had divorced my Father because he was too controlling and that she didn't like this passive and emotionless person she had become (definitely not the woman I know!). However, when I started studying Sociology and the family, I had lots of questions, and it was only then, once I was 21, that my mother revealed that my Father had had affairs. Multiple times. She said that the reasons she had previously stated had always been true, merely that she didn't want us to know until we were older so as not to poison us against him, and I really respect that. I guess my point is, parents have their secrets too, it may be hard for you, and hard to understand why they wouldn't want to be together anymore without what feels like a solid reason, but we have to remember that they're human too. We want to believe that our parents are strong and immune to weakness, but sometimes they get broken too.

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            • May 27, 2008
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              Have you tried talking to your mom about how you feel, and how all of this is affecting you?
            • Apr 1, 2012
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              ImageUploadedByTapatalk1402815876807209

              Stay strong hun, how about ordering a male stripper to cheer you up?

              There's also Oreos and milk!
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              • Jul 8, 2012
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                Though I've not dealt with this, talking to your own parents about thing, this for example, can be extremely hard. Though it is a good idea Indeed.

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                • May 29, 2012
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                  I dont want you too be sad mum.

                  My mum and dad divorced when I was like 3 or 4 years old.

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                  • Feb 25, 2014
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                    The only way you will manage is to stay positive and don' t put yourself in a victem role because it will get you no where. The only one who can make something of your life is yourself. And if you keep it togheter and look positive towards it then you will get trough. Also keep yourself open let people know your hurt and show your feelings. Keeping things inside is never the answer, also enjoy small things in live to the fullest as that will bring you joy and keep you away from depression. But remember never play the vivtem role as people get pretty annoyed by it at some point and it will never get you anyway, how hard it may sound later in the end it will give you great comfart after all this has ended.
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                    • Oct 18, 2012
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                      I've tried but like Zenzr said it's very hard to. If I even bring up living with my dad sometimes she gets upset then starts getting mad ect.
                    • Aug 7, 2012
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                      *hugs*
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                      • Feb 11, 2012
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                        Sorry to hear this fluff.
                        My parents were divorced when I was fairly young (don't remember my dad leaving). I had to go back and forth every week to see my mom and my dad. Luckily my dad still lived in the same city. My school was also pretty much in the middle of them so thankfully never had to switch schools although it was a private school :s
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                        • Feb 2, 2013
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                          im just ur chiraqcutie
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                            Lystina, Jun 15, 2014 Last edited by chiraqcutie, Nov 25, 2014
                          • Oct 18, 2012
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                            Yeah, I know how it feels. My dad also has a gambling problem and alcoholic. He actually started slowing down I think. But I don't know. I only see him once a year but this year I don't think i'm going due to problems right now.
                          • Feb 25, 2014
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                            Those problems always have a trigger before they grow out of hand, it is rare to see someone getting an alcohol or gambling problem out of nothing. I think it must be hard seeing all of this, Just make sure you learn from it so you don't make the same mistake when you have kids.
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                            • Apr 9, 2012
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                              Although my parents never divorced, I have seen plenty of other parents from friends etc that divorced. Some parents can divorce peacefully and maintain a happy family on both sides. Some other parents divorce and would never want to see each other back forever. I've seen friends dealing with those situations and all I can say is that it is pretty much lifechanging. Some of them completely changed. In fact I lost one of my best friends because of it. They moved and ever since we could not really see each other anymore practically because of the distance and the way he changed. It's really up to how strong you're in handling and dealing situations like these mentally, however it cannot be said it's easy no matter if you can solve it peacefully for yourself or not.

                              I wish you good strength and hopefully it'll all manage itself out in a way or another!
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                              • Dec 1, 2013
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                                So, what you're saying is...your Dad divorced your Mom when you were 10 years old and found a new love after they had been divorced for many years? Cause you make it sound like your parents were actually still together.


                                Sorry to hear about your troubles, Fluffeh. It is definitely rough.
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                                  Kuriin, Jun 16, 2014 Last edited by Kuriin, Jun 16, 2014
                                • Feb 2, 2013
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                                  i got swag
                                  Lystina, Jun 16, 2014 Last edited by chiraqcutie, Nov 25, 2014