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I think

Discussion in Everything & Anything started by Cursing In Braille, Sep 13, 2009

  1. Aug 8, 2008
    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?
    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh ****
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
  2. Aug 8, 2008
    sweet17: Hi
    bloodninja: hello
    bloodninja: who is this?
    sweet17: just a someone?
    bloodninja: A someone I know?
    sweet17: nope
    bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    sweet17: well sorrrrrry
    sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
    bloodninja: why?
    sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
    bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
    sweet17: yes?
    bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
    sweet17: paranoid?
    bloodninja: yes
    sweet17: of what?
    sweet17: me?
    bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.
    sweet17: LOL
    bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
    bloodninja: This shit is serious!
    sweet17: What are you hiding from?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: gimme a fucking break
    bloodninja: I’m serious.
    sweet17: I don’t get it
    bloodninja: The cops are after me.
    sweet17: For what?
    bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states
    sweet17: For???
    bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.
    bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You are fucking sick.
    bloodninja: Send me your picture.
    sweet17: why?
    bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.
    sweet17: One of what?
    bloodninja: The cops.
    sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
    bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
    sweet17: hold on
    bloodninja: Hurry up.
    bloodninja: Are you there?
    bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
    sweet17: Hey sorry
    sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
    bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    bloodninja: Weren’t you!?
    sweet17: thats not it
    bloodninja: Then what?
    sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
    bloodninja: Most cops aren’t
    bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
    sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
    bloodninja: Just send it through here.
    sweet17: alright *PIC*
    sweet17: Did you get it?
    bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.
    sweet17: That was me back in may
    sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
    bloodninja: I hope so
    sweet17: what?!?
    sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
    bloodninja: Did it?
    sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
    bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    sweet17: yes
    bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
    sweet17: kks
    bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    sweet17: this isn’t you.
    bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
    sweet17: You don’t look like that.
    bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
    sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
    bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
    bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
    sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
    bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
    sweet17: Go fuck yourself
    bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
    bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
    sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
    sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
    sweet17: you hurt me.
    bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
    sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
    bloodninja: Why would I do that?
    sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
    bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
    bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.
    sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!
    sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
    sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
    bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.
    sweet17: No you aren’t
    bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.
    bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
    sweet17: I’m done with you
    bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.
    sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
    bloodninja: Wait a sec
    bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
    bloodninja: Wanna start over?
    sweet17: No
    bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty
    sweet17: You’ll what?
    bloodninja: You heard me.
    bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.
    sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
    bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
    sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.
    bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
    sweet17: Like what?
    bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
    sweet17: I don’t know
    bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
    sweet17: I’m afraid to
    bloodninja: Why?
    sweet17: cause
    bloodninja: cause why?
    sweet17: well lets see
    sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
    bloodninja: Nope
    sweet17: well its strange to me
    bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
    sweet17: I didn’t say that
    bloodninja: So is that a yes?
    sweet17: I guess so.
    bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    bloodninja: Are you willing?
    sweet17: What do you need me to do?
    bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
    sweet17: ???
    bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
    bloodninja: ok?
    bloodninja: Hello?
    sweet17: You can’t be serious
    bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
    bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.
    sweet17: this is retarded
    bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
    sweet17: Yes I want it.
    bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?
    sweet17: sure
    bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
    bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
    bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
    sweet17: mmmm yeah
    bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.
    sweet17: Har
    bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
    bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
    bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
    bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
    bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: HARRRRRRR
    bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
    bloodninja: going limp
    sweet17: this is stupid
    bloodninja: …still limp
    bloodninja: Do it!
    bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
    bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
    sweet17: WTF?!?!?
    bloodninja: They stink really bad.
    sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
    bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
    bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
    bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
    sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
    bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
    bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
    bloodninja: …going limp again.
    bloodninja: Hello?
    bloodninja: Say it!
    bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
  3. Aug 8, 2008
    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it
    ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
    breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to
    charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic
    symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide
    and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
    the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

    bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

    **This might be old, I dunnno, don't really care.**
  4. Mar 12, 2008
    if i havent seen it, it's new to me...

    this made me LOL

    also tl;dr'd most of it.
  5. Jan 10, 2009
    omg this made me lul hard.
  6. May 24, 2008
    Fucking lol'd at all of that
  7. Dec 20, 2008
    this is actually the oldest fucking thing ever.
  8. Mar 15, 2008
  9. Aug 8, 2008
    I know, but most people don't know all of it, they only know the wizard hat bit of it.

    I scooped it off of Bash.org
    <ckx> women ask for it
    <ckx> they act all old and mature
    <ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
    <ckx> and they get all bitchy
    <ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

    <Donut[AFK]> INSULT
    <Eurakarte> RETORT
    <Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
    <Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE