How I would kill you all

Go all die in a fire. That goes double for you flying avacado

1. Basic Hacksaw.
2. Shooting
3. Cyanide
4. Rigging a snapple bottle with coke and mentos so it explodes
5. Trip them and make them fall onto a flipped chair's exposed leg
6. Punch them in the stomach then step on their eyes with high heeled shoes when they're down.
7. Set up a mine to blow up their family. Mines availible at Wal-Mart
8. Put disinfecting spray in their morning coffee.
9. Just throw an axe at the mother****er.
10. Before they go to the bathroom, pour vegetable oil all over the front of the toilet so they sleep and kill themselves.
11. If they sleep in a bunk bed, make a noose for them and put them close to the edge so when they wake up they'll hang themselves.
12. When they're holding their ford straight up in the air, kick them in the back of the head. Yay, eye-kebobs
13. Bring their head down until you knee them in the nose, then just continue to beat the **** out of him.
14. Sneak up behind and snap his neck.
15. Mustard Gas.
16. Drop a history book on them from a third story landing. The impact will snap their spine.
17. Toss them down the stairs.
18. Buy a tube of Bromine, and hit him in the mouth with it.
19. take a "slush" straw and stab him in the throat with it, then spit water through the straw
20. Glue a funnel in his throat and pour in high pulp orange juice
21. Put heavy medications in his oatmeal. O.D. HIS ASS
22. Buy a high-heeled shoe and beat his head in with it.
23. Toss him out a third story window.
24. Make him piss off kelly pauley.
25. Grenade in pillow.
26. Hit him over the heat with a hammer.
27. Buy a showerhead at Lowe's and ram it through his eye.
28. When he's sleeping, stuff "stuffed animal" stuffing into his mouth.
29. Pour rock salt in his popcorn.
30. Put lysol in his lemonade.
31. Slit his throat with a razor.
32. Lodge scissors in his throat.
33. Put his head in the toilet and close the lid. Then jump on it.
34. Turn on a hair curler, then beat him to death with it.
35. "The Joker Pencil Trick"
36. Take a bunch of kitchen knives, and the wooden thing that holds them, and throw them at him.
37. Go up behind him and strangle him with Chicken wire.
38. Throw him the radio in the bathtub.
39. Put him in a chair where he cant move, and a cage is attached to his face, and in that cage are three starving rabid rats. (Do it to juuuuliaaaaa!) -Orwell reference
40. Tip over a bookshelf onto him.
41. Push an airconditioner out a window that he's walking by.
42. Throw ceramic plates at him.
43. Put gorilla glue on the inside of a bag, then put it over his head. Push it into his mouth and nose.
44. Stick a needle in the back of his neck.
45. Punch him in between the ribs as high as you can to hit and stop his heart.
46. Put a joystick in his mouth, then punch the base. IT WILL GO THROUH HIS HEAD.
47. Stab him with a pocket knife.
48. Stab him with a BIGGER knife.
49. Stab him with a sword.
50. Buy a chainsaw. 'Nuff said.
51. Hit him with a baseball bat.
52. Throw a potted plant on his head when your above him.
53. Bash him over the head with a heated skillet.
54. Run him through with an umbrella.
55. Plunge a hunting knife into the back of his head.
56. Lead pipe.
57. Use some hedge clippers on all his limbs and let him bleed out.
58. Bash his head with a 2 x 4.
59. Run at him swinging a barbell.
60. Run at him swinging a dumbell if the barbell is too heavy.
61. Throw him at cactus. Then hit him with a meat cleaver.
62. Bash him on the spine with an electric guitar, preferrably a Les Paul.
63. Tilt up a lawnmover so the blades are explosed and run at him with it.
64. Ram a hanger into his throat.
65. Beat him to death with a hockey stick.
66. Buy a mailbox. Go to his house. And ram the mailbox pole through his stomach... then raise the little mailbox flag to add insult to serious injury.
67. Nailgun
68. Fill a watergun with acid... and have at him.
69. Cuz of his leg and beat him to death with it.
70. Smash a rock over his head. A BIG ROCK.
71. Club him.
72. Smash him in the side of the face with a shovel, then spike in into his stomach when hes on the ground.
73. Weave his arm through a stepladder, then close at and break his arm, then twist it off, then beat him to death with the STEPLADDER.
74. Beat that tool with a toolbox.
75. Buy a sickle... and go Blue Oyster Cult on his ass.
76. Beat him with a paint can.
77. Throw a TV on his head.
78. Wrap a phone wire around his throat and pull.
79. Beat him to death with a 9I.
80. Same as number 79, but switch it over to.. a pitching wedge.
81. BEARS!
82. Ram a weed whacker into his stomach and turn that bad boy on.
83. Ram his head repeatedly into the corner of.. well... anything.
84. Throw a saw blade at him.
85. Get a car. Hit him.
86. Get a car. Invite him to ride in passenger seat. Put on your seat belt... but saw his seat selt off before he gets in the car. Accelerate to 120 MPH... then brake.
87. EVERYONE...LOVES...SHOTGUNS
88. Beat him over the head with a bowling ball.
89. Hold his head under sand.
90. Cement shoes... toss him into a lake.
91. Kick him off of a highway overpass.
92. Kick him out of a speeding car into a metal divider.
93. Install and ejector seat in a car. Drive the car, have him sit in passenger seat, go into a tunnel, and hit eject.
94. Pour gasoline of him and light that piece of **** up.
95. Grab him, run as fast as you cant towards a doorknob, and throw him so it hits him in the forehead.
96. Spike his forehead on a picket fence.
97. Machete. Jason style.
98. If he's thirsty, how about a Molotov Cocktail?
99. Throw him in front of a speeding car.
100. Ram paperclips under his fingernails... then stick them all in outlets.
101. Impale him by dropping a ladder vertically on him.
102. Severe Docking
103. Borrow a retired soviet tank and blow his head off
104. Place a bomb on his phone and get your "one phone call"
105. Drown them in their own tears
106. Set up a landmine in front of their house.
107. Set up a sniper rifle, and wait for them to look out the window.
108. Say "finish him" in a deep voice, then rip out his skull and spine.
109. Lock him in a stone box, and give him enough food for a week. Then leave.
110. Lock him in a stone box, and give him no food. Then leave.
111. Lock him in a stone box, then blow up the damn box.
112. Feed him peanut butter. SALMONELLA, HO!
113. Leave him outside in the winter, with only a popsicle and a coolata to sustain himself.
114. Tie a noose around his neck, cut open his stomach, and hang him.
115. De-bowel his ass.
116. Tie him on railroad tracks. It never seems to work in cartoons... MAKE HISTORY.
117. Glue is mouth shut, and send him to Iran wearing a "God bless America- and nowhere else" shirt.
118. Offer him two pills... one red, one blue. (They're both cyanide)
119. Set it up so when he hits Ctrl+Alt+Delete, his computer blows up. Then, wait till hes on a porn site.
120. Torch his face.
121. Throw him down an elevator shaft.
122. Drive and SUV down said elevator shaft.
123. Break into the gas company and send all the major gaslines to his house.
124. Smash him on the side of the face with a metal rake.
125. Stab him in the back, and use his corpse to make cookies.
126. Hide in his ceiling, then reach down, grab his head, and pull it up.
127. Stick a carrot in his mouth, then punch it.
128. Pump propane into his house. Then shoot him.
129. Buy him a pet Mogwai. Then feed it ice after midnight. (Mogwais are gremlins)
130. Bend a paper clip to make a needle-like shape. Lodge it in his forhead, and begin to party.
131. Ring the doorbell. When he looks through the peep-hole, stick a knife through it.
132. Throw zombies at him. Hey, I'm on number 132, I can get a LITTLE unrealistic... goddamn
133. Mess with gym equipment so two dumbells come at his head from opposite sides.
134. According to health freaks, feed him trans fats.
134. (Cuz the last one didn't count) Throw him into an industrial cooling system.
135. Push him into a woodchipper.
136. Throw his cat into a woodchipper, then kick him while he's crying.
137. Tell him nobody loves him and that nobody would care if he killed himself. (He'll kill himself)
138. Tell him to walk on the sidewalk of Stanton street with keys in his shirt pocket. It's so icy, NOBODY can NOT fall.
139. Stick needles in a baseball, like a pincushion, and make him catch it... with his face.
140. Put a mixture of jell-o and needles into a turkey baster and squeeze.
141. Force feed him clothes.
142. Throw him through a sliding glass door
143. Close a window on his throat.
144. Send him up a ladder, and put oil on the top 4 rungs.
145. Pull out an RPG and take out his house.
146. Puts all the pegs in a Cribbage board, then smash his face into it.
147. Beat him with a chain.
148. Stick a nail through wood and hit him with it.
149. Take apart a pencil sharpener until all thats left is the spinning blade... then "sharpen" him.
150. Make a prison shank out of a toothbrush and take him out.
151. Shoot him in the knee and then tie him down until he bleeds out.
152. Use a mallet and chisel to carve him a new face.
153. Put his head in a desk drawer and kick it closed.
154. Throw him into a printing press.
155. Tie him onto a log and send him towards a saw blade.
156. Open the gas intake hole in a plane he's flying in. When it starts taking of, set the resulting trail on fire and say "Yippe Kay Yay"
157. Put a bomb on a bus he's in. IF HE GOES ABOVE 50, HE DIES.
158. Just shoot him in the forehead.
159. Ram C.D.'s through his neck.
160. Make him piss of Chuck Norris.
161. Throw him into a shark tank at the aquarium.
162. BEARS!
163. Ram some "Stiffy" brand fabric stiffner (actually EXISTS, not as a joke, either) up his ass and then set it on fire.
164. Put a bear trap in a pie and feed it to him.
165. Beat him to death with his own shoes.
166. BEARS!
167. Mix his soda with bleach.
168. Mix his oatmeal with bleach.
169. Do something that involves POISONING HIM WITH BLEACH.
170. BEARS!
171. Throw coffee in his face, then smash the cup over his head.
172. Kick him into a well in the middle of town.
173. Run a spear through him.
174. Drive-by.
175. Drive-by OLD SCHOOL (With a sword on a horse)
176. Beat him to death with a hand mirror.
177. Find a pointy glass lamp. Push him onto it.
178. ..........BEARS!
179. (There will be five here, because numbers 81, 162, 166, 170, and 178 don't count)
I. Stick an outlet plug into his skull.
II. Stick pens in his ears.
III. Key him. Like keying a car, but it's his eyes.
IV. Push him out a first story window. Then drop a computer on him.
V. Throw him into a large searchlight.
180. Break off the lower part of a hole puncher and make him pay... with his eyeballs.
181. Tie him in the back of a car.
182. Glue him in the drivers seat of a car and put a brick on the pedal.
183. Beat him to death with a binder.
184. Find a cubicle. Lead him into it, then throw him through the wall. Push the rest of it onto him.
185. Throw a table out a window onto him.
186. Push a vending machine onto him.
187. Throw him into one of those "skill crane" games, throguh the glass, and use the glaw to gouge his eyes.
188. Put a fishing hook into his nose.. and coming out his forehead...
189. Smash him in the face with a helmet while he's stapped to a chair.
190. Starve him to death by tying him up under a tree with fruit on branches he can't reach.
191. Make him cease to exist.
192. Use the keyboard you're typing your comment on to smash him in the back of the head.
193. Put two rats in a metal bucket.. flip the bucket over so the open side is against his stomach.. heat up the bucket. THE RATS ONLY HAVE ONE WAY OUT...
194. Smash picture frames over his head, in chronological order by date taken.
195. Throw him into the corner of a dishwasher.
196. Take the drawer you keep all your cutlery in and smash it over his head.
197. Smash his head through the glass of a microwave and turn that killer on.
198. Smash his head through the glass of a TOASTER OVEN and turn it on "Broil"
199. Hold his face down on a stove and set it on "hi"
200. Tip over a refridgerator onto him.
201. Lock him into a tanning bed and crank it up to full blast.
202. Fire a rocket directly into his face.
203.throw a rattle snake at him
204. Throw him up a set of stairs and then when he rolls down...shoot him in the face.
205. Call Jigsaw and have him do your dirty work
205. dig a ditch set him on fire and push him into it and proceed to bury him alive.
207. pit of any sort of hungry big cat
208. drop his ass off a cliff
209. hit wazwaz's girlfriend
210. have him wear OSU gear around wazwaz
211. Shoot him while sleeping
212. Give him a poisoned donut.
213: Attach a heavy or sharp object to your foot and then punt him in the head
214. Drop him into a pool of magma
215. paint him gold
216. punch him.......with brass knuckles
217. go Hannibal Lector on his ass
218. crucify him
219. crucify him then set the cross on fire
220. stab him with a cross
221. beat him to death with a cross
222. impale him with the American flag
223. impale him with any flag
224. lock him in a room with the Jonas brothers
225. feed him to the lions
226. feed him to the tigers
227. have him hold a grenade with his hands then take out the pin. He has to let go at some point
228. lock him in the trunk of a car. Then run over it with a monster truck
229. dress him in a blue shirt then drop him off in a territory run by the bloods
230. push him off a bridge
231. strangle him with a bungee cord
232. drop a tank on him
233. fire him out of a cannon and into a wall
234. make him jump the shark and fail
235. piranha anyone?
236. break his leg then beat him with his own crutch
237. give him paper cuts on his eyes then kick him into a pit
238. stone him
239. throw a raccoon at him
240. throw a weasel at him
241. throw any animal that has sharp claws and teeth
242. aim all of the 4th of July fireworks at his house.
243. smother him in his sleep
244. brainwash his mother to kill him.
245. brainwash his sister to kill him
246. brainwash his dog to kill him
247. throw him in a bonfire
248.throw him into a mosh pit….they have bats
249. reenact the Texas chainsaw massacre…..he’s first
250. Machine gun. Rambo style
251. fire him into space. No one can hear him scream but you can watch him die
252. hit him with a wooden bat
253. hit him with a metal bat
254. hit him with a sledge hammer
255. put had on anvil, take hammer and swing
256. push him off the Eiffel Tower
257. tie him to the roller coaster tracks then go for a free ride
258. put him in a trash compactor
258. ****ing pipe bomb up his ass
259. have him fight a kangaroo. The kangaroo will win
260. have him fight Bruce Lee
261. dress him in red then lock him in a ring full of pissed off bulls
262. put him in a casket then set it on fire
263. put him in a casket then blow it up
264. put him in a casket the run it over with an 18 wheeler
265. tie him to the back of a car. Then speed over a bumpy road with tons of broken glass and jagged metal.
266. Go Freddy Kruger on his ass
267. put his head in a metal box then fill it up with jello
268. same as above but use acid instead you ****
269. run with scissors and plunge those into his skull
270. put a carnivorous ear wig into his ear. It will eat his brain
271. give him a bath……an acid bath
272. have him challenge chuck norris
273. take a stick and shove it up their ass. Then set the stick on fire. He will burn from the inside
274. give him an ice cream headache…………..from hell
275. run him over with the ice cream truck
276. decapitate him then throw his head into a meatpacking plant
277. make him see the light……….of an oncoming train
278. Giant fan? Why not
279. cause a stamped and watch as he gets trampled
280. give it thirty lashes then strangle it
281. run him over with a combine
282. move him, his family, and their house to tornado ally
283. play golf with his eyes
284. beat him with a bible
295. steal an old mans cane then break it over his head
286. have him cut his wrists then you slice his throat. ****ing Emos
287. tell him to go near the president and watch as he gets tackled by the secret service
288. taze him bro…….over and over again
289. have a fat woman have sex with him. Her weight will crush him
290. blow up the church that hes praying in.
291. take his tie and feed it through two huge rolling drums
292. crush him with a steam roller
293. take off your belt and choke him with it
294. strap fireworks to his bed when hes sleeping so when they go off he has a heart attack.
295. give him a prop gun and call the police. When the police show up they will think that its real and shoot him.
296. put a bomb in his mouth and tape it shut.
297. take the holy wine and poison it
298. Strangle him with a telephone cord
299. while hes on a unicycle, push him down a hill
300. say “This is Sparta!” then kick him into a pit of death
301. build a house of straw for him then when hes inside burn it down
302. crash a plain into him
303. global warming
304. a tree falls on him in the middle of a forest and no ones is around. Does he make a sound?
305. when your on a boat push him overboard
306. have him disappoint Russia, they will kill him “I must break you”
307. Use a shamwow. Not only will it kill him but it will also clean up the blood
308. he does ab crunches you do body crunches. You crush him with a car compactor
309. kill him with kindness
310. Blind him then hit him with a brail book
311. blind him then give him a sign in brail that reads look up. Drop a piano on him
312. Have Buddha take him out
313. use a katana, Ninja style
314. beat him with a trashcan
315. stab him with a lance
316. stab him with a spoon
317. toss him him into the NY sewers. The gators will finish him off
318. Dora the Explorer
319. ****ing France
320. rip out his intestines and hang him with them
321. flamethrower………think about it
322. burn him at the stake
323. leave him alone with Hillary Clinton, he will die
324. Martha Stewert shanking. Glittering and Beddazled shank extra $5
325. guillotine
326. open the ark of the covenant and run away
327. those ****ing vampires
328. shove food down his throat
329. drown him in his own blood
330. put him in the whack the weasel game and try to get the high score
331. give him a defective gas mask then let loose some poison gas
332. put each limb in a bear trap then take out a chainsaw
333. old school rifle shooting, shoot him and if he is still alive stab him with a bayonet
334. hot potato with a handgernade
335. go skydiving but replace his parachute with and april fools sign. For better results due this the day after april fools
336. knock him down then start tap-dancing on their ass
337. put him in a shopping cart going down hill through a mine field
338. put on Dragula by Rob Zombie and turn the volume to the max. Then go on a killing spree
339. fill his house with carbon monoxide
340. raise zombies and have them attack him
341. same as above but they are Nazi zombies
342. put him in an iron maiden
343. just drown the ****.
344. lock him in a meat locker
345. lock him in a meat locker with German shepherds
346. knock him out them put a bomb in his balls, wait for him to jerk off
347. curb stomp with golf shoes
348. bring London Bridges down on his head
349. have sex with Madonna, die of stds
350. shave their ass and have them smoke it, they will kill themselves
351. medicine ball dodgeball
352. put their head in a locker then kick it shut
353. have them piss off the short bus kids
354. lock them in a dark room for ten years with cheeseburgers and spikes on the floors
355. impale them on a spear on a fountain
356. replace his parachute with a fan
357. pluck every hair from his body then make a noose out of the hair
358. have him make fun of big foots feet
359. have him listen to a Hanna Montana record
360. put him in a war between pirates and ninjas
361. put him in a war between KFC and Popeyes
362. have him go hunting with Dick Cheney
363. have him swallow a tree seed then have it grow inside him
364. have him swallow a sword then punch him
365. dress him up in a bear outfit then put him in the middle of a hunting ground
366. push him really fast in a swivel chair, down the stairs
367. push him really fast in a swivel chair of a cliff
368. replace his steroids with Oreos
369. replace his drugs with cookie dough
370. shoot him with a staple gun
371. hang them with their own tie
372. have him save Timmy from a well, then sick Lassie on him
373. get a dog that looks like his ,pretend to throw it into a fire, shoot him
374. go on a rollercoaster, cut his safety rope
375. go on a rollercoaster, cut his throat
376. but him a ford mustang, ram him with an 18 wheeler
377. take him on a cruise, throw him into the propellers
378. replace water on his slip N’ slide with sulfuric acid
379. shove your dick in his ear, break through the other ear
380. shove ten pounds of cream cheese up his ass, clog his intestines, make his stomach explode
381. tie them to a chair, cover them in chees, lock them in a room with rabid rats
382. bring him to a Jonas brother concert, he will kill himself, but you may die as well
383. have Metallica kick his ass till hes dead
384. have him drink moxie soda
385. stick his head into a fan, shoot him in the head
386. engrave kill me in his forehead, have him walk through the Bronx
387. Go to a Buddhist temple , tell him it’s a rave party
388. give him a paper cut with every page from the bible
389. replace holy water with acid, throw it on him during church, they will try to kill him
390. shove a jar of Tylenol down his throat
391. order a pearl harbor at a sushi restaurant
392. have midgets eat him, starting from ankles
393. tell him you hired a nappy headed ho for him, its really a dude, he kills himself
394. have Randy Newman write a song about him
395. put him on a blob and have an obese kid jump on it
396. throw midgets at him
397. drive his car off a cliff have it land next to him, then have a trap door drop him into a snake pit
398. make him watch his grandparents have sex
399. smash him with a tire iron
400. call down the killer tomatoes
401. call down the killer vegetables
402. put his power level over 9000
403. KAMEHAMEHA!!!
404. Green people from Dragon ball Z
405. summon demons to rape his nostrils
406. place squirrels in his brain
407. place him under a tree with a fat squirrel
408. tell a group of rabbits that hes made out of carrots
409. pare his eyes hard
410. tie him to a buoy in shark infested waters
411. while he sleeps move his bed into shark infested waters
412. while he sleeps put a shark in his bed
413. shove a katana up his nose
414. molest an alligator and blame him
415. dress him up as a penguin and introduce him to Shamoo
416. have him call a lion a tiger
417. go mortal combat on his ass
418. have him watch pink floyds The Wall while chewing jerky
419. put him in a battle between a dragon and a tiger
420. make him challenge mogan freeman
421. have say what to Sam L Jackson
422. have him smoke weed with Nelson Mandela and Willy Nelson
423. throw a tattooed baby at him
424. put a hamster in his pants
425. put a lion in his pants
426. put a flaming lion in his pants
427. BREAK YO SELF
428. piss big Willy off
429. go in a helicopter and throw him up
430. put a trampoline under a helicopter and tell him to jump out
431. collapsible trampoline
432. have your henchmen kick him in the shins till death
433. X gonna give it to him
434. kelteridas
435. dress him in a collared shirt and drop him off in LA
436. lock him in a box and threaten to drop a caterpillar in it
437. water bored torture him, then actually torture him
438. chop off his dick, he’ll have no more reason to live
439. throw him off a helicopter into North Korea
440. put him on a plane to North Korea
441. put him on a boat going to Somalia
442. take him out with a bowling ball shoe
443. take him out with a bowling ball
444. drop a possum in his shirt
445. feed him a possum tell him your both going to France, suicide
446. tell him your both going to Africa, they’ll eat him
447. lock him in a park filled with yellow jello
448. drop him off in Mexico naked
449. have him drink Mexican water
450. lock him in a bank vaul
451. put him as a carry on bag and open the back
452. disguise him as a piñata, tie him to a tree in Mexico
453. stab him with shark teeth
454. throw him into a fish factory
455. have him fight cannibal corpse
456. run over him with a Dragula
457. put bats in his shirt, Play Rob Zombie loud
458. shoot a grenade at him while he is talking to a girl, **** block kill
459. have him slip on dog **** and land in a cage of pit bulls
460. take him to a zoo and he “falls’ into the wolf pit
461. beat him with a pot of gold
462. shove a shillelagh up his ass
463. drop him on the statue of liberty’s spikes
464. have a ninja guinea pig attack him
465. throw **** in his mouth, tape it shut, tie his hands throw him in a sewer
466. make him watch his grandparents and his younger brother get it on
467. smash his head throw a TV screen
468. drown someone in a pool of buckshot
469. Stick a fork in their eye and pull it out the back of their head.
470. Mac Attack
471. Mr. Smith
472. beat him by using a gang of biker midgets
473. drink him under the table, die of alcohol poisoning
474. strap him down from head to toe then break out a buzz saw
475. If you can dodge a ball of spikes then you can live. Did I mention that they are fired from a cannon and the balls are 10 ft in diameter
476. the purple Kool-Aid guy burst through the wall. The ruble from the wall crushes the kool-aid guy and the person your trying to kill
477. pimp slap him and make him your ho. Then waste him after you got your money
478. pimp cane hurts
479. have him wacked by the Don
480. Drown him in his own blood
481. take a pool ball and shove it through his skull
482. take a magic eight ball and shove it through his skull. Like magic
483. kick him into a volcano
484. tie both his arms to a pole then tie his legs to a truck. Step on the gas and rip the **** in half
485. Smash an electric guitar over his head
486. smash a bass guitar over his head
487. smash an acoustic guitar over his head smash a ukulele over his head
488. put him in a German death camp
489. go back in time and take the ten commandment and break them over Moses head
490. tape him to a wall and throw darts at him
491. tape him to a wall and throw knives at him
492. put him in a microwave
493. put him in a oven
494. send him to the center of the Earth and let the mole people deal with him
495. build the worlds largest blender then drop him into it.
496. create a black hole under his bed
497. do what Gandhi did, Starve him until Muslim and everyone else gets along. If they do then still let him starve
498. Werewolves
499. put a death mask on him (from Saw) but don’t give him the key
500. Watch House of 1000 Corpse then you’ll get the idea. HEY ITS ****ING#500! Give me a break. This is a lot of work even for me.
501. Throw him off the Sears Tower
502. Open him up, line is intestines with Christmas lights then plug him in
503. Superglue his mouth on top of an anthill
504. The ants are red
505. Let’s call it acupuncture
506. Three words: flesh eating Hamsters
507. Tell France and England that he is the rightful king to both their countries, they will have a tug of war with him as the rope
508. Tie him in a blanket and roll him off a cliff
509. The blanket is barbed wire
510. Inject tape worms into him
511. Send chucky after his ass
512. Keep putting heavy big rocks on him till hes dead
513. Teach him soulja boy…hell kill himself
514. Take a pointy stick, shove it threw him then leave it sticking up from the ground
515. Take the dull end of the stick and shove it through his ass, after days his weight will make it go through his organs killing him.
516. "Dr Kevorkian id like you to meet your new patient..."
517. face him with 3 pistols .. tell him he has to chose the one without ammunition and he wont get shot . (theyre all loaded)
518. dare him to attempt Houdini's water trick
519. staple every inch of his body to a target .. time for archery !
520. Tell him to open a store in Rochester, when hes not looking put a sign in his window that says “****s need not apply”
521. get 10000 angry midgets and make them stampede over him
522. .. make him listen to sanjaya
523. Slit his throat with his own fingernails,
524. cut his toes off and shove them down his throat
525. dry out marshmallows make him eat 200 and then stick a funnel in his mouth and pour in water,
Smash a shovel over his head and repeatedly stab him with the shattered ends of it if it breaks upon his now fractured skull.
526. take a poisonous snake, and stab him repeatedly with the venom fangs . to make him die faster, feel free to strangle him with the snake
527. extreme bungee jumping... without the bungee
528. send him to the hotel in the shinning. leave him with a creepy child that talks to his finger. see what happens.
529. (almost) drown him. its time for a nice, toasty,- burning at the stake!..
530. Dress him up as Rhianna then piss off Chris brown
531. Cover him in blood then introduce him to a great white
532. Cover him in pork chops then feed him to two wolverines
533. Mutated Centaur
534. Tie him inside a Merry go round then install a turbo setting
535. Pull a Sweeny Todd
536. Make him captain of the Titanic 2
537. Send him to Mexico City (swine Flu)
538. Replace his vitamins with birth control, his ball will mutate and turn into ovaries and kill him
539. Send him anywhere with Muslims
540. Fill a baseball with nitroglycerin then pitch it at him
541. The knee splitter
542. Put him on a train then derail it
543. The rack
544. Strangle him with rosary beads
545. Fat guy on a unicycle
546. If he is allergic to bees, throw a beehive at him
547. Artillery barrage his car
548. Artillery barrage his school
549. Artillery barrage his work
550. Artillery barrage his home
551. If he is allergic to peanut butter, force feed him peanut butter
552. Have him piss off the pope
553. Have him piss off Jesus
554. Have him piss off God
555. Have him piss off Buddha
556. Have him piss off Oprah
557. Have him attack Oprah
558. Put him in a rocket hen fire it to the sun
559. Iron Maiden!!!!
560. Godzilla!!!!!!!
561. Dress him up as a woman then give him to King Kong
562. Take off his helmet in space
563. The Hanson Brothers (slapshot 2)
564. Hells Angels
565. Heavens Devils
566. Charlie’s Angels
567. Lock him in a porta potty, push it into a ditch then fill the ditch with cement
568. Go to the top off the 16th Chapel then push him off
569. The Pear…..fordo
570. Smash cans against his head until they go through
571. Same as above but use Fanta cans (preferably purple ones)
572. take a red hot poker and stab him in the eye, then kick it through his head
573. hide him under a mattress then have a really fat guy sit on it. It will crush him
574. dress him up as a cat then throw him in a dog pound
575. dress him as a gorilla then give him to a horny male gorilla
576. if he is a Muslim send him back in time to the Spanish inquisition
577. take a big stick, shove it up his ass, then throw him into a freezer to die. You now have a human Popsicle
578. look!.... its Chris Hanson
579. play basket ball with his head
580. play golf with his balls and use his mouth as a tee
581. put him in a UFC match against Frank Mir and bribe the ref not to stop the fight
582. give him a cigar, cigar is loaded with highly explosive chemicals
583. same as above but also give one to his little sister to add insult to death
584. have him commit suicide Kurt Kobain style
585. have him steal cookies from the cookie monster
586. lock him in the trunk of a car, park the car on a railway track. Have two trains on the same track, coming from both directions, hit the car at the same time. Everybody dies.
587. trap him on an island with other people and let nature take its course. Lord Of the Flies without the happy ending.
588. throw him into an insane mosh pit.
589. Kill him just like how South Park killed chef
590. kill him just like how the Jonas Brothers killed music
591. Kill him just like how the Twilight moves killed all vampires myths.
592. train an elephant to crush his head with its feet.
593. slowly lower him into a pool of hungry mutated sea bass. Then turn around not making sure that they are dead. Austin Powers reference.
594. Use the Holy hand grenade of Antioch
595. water balloon fight with acid
596. Eres tu Maria?
597. make him hang with steve-O
598. lock him in a room with and xbox addict with a red ring
599. whos the boss marathon
600. make him fight Tony Danza
601. Make him look at Tony Danza
602. shove a cherry bomb in his pee hole
603. replace his balls with cherry bombs, commence to ball tap
604. make him do a salsasnack, he’ll kill himself
605. shoot his balls with a staple gun. Put a mask on him and burn it to his skin.
606. dump him into a pool of chlorine
607. force a jar of gun cleaner down his throat
608. throw him into a heart shaped box then push it off a cliff
609. make him piss of a punk soul brother
610. feed him ball bearings then put him in a room filled with magnets
611. attach a powerful magnet to his neck the release a spinning saw blade
612. tie piano wire around his neck, quickly rub it so it reaches his veins
613. put his head in a piano and play Beethoven’s fifth on his spine
614. put him in a piano wire net, tie it to a car, drag him around
615. go interactive buddy on his ass
616. have him fight Blackbeard
617. replace his safety net with piano wire
618. replace trampoline with piano wire net
619. tity twister with grenade pins
620. he works in a nuclear power plant. Take a sniper rifle, shoot him, his lifeless body will fall on a button and blow up the plant and the town.
621. take a very sharp sword, shove it through him, turn the blade so its facing up, then spit him in half
622. take a heavy war hammer ,put it on a spinning table. Put him on his knees then watch his reaction as the hammer comes to his face.
623. trap him under a fire truck then set the truck on fire. He will die and the fire truck on on fire is funny
624. have him party with a wild snorlax
625. send him to camp Crystal Lake
626. have him try to steal a hoe from a pimp
627. take a cafeteria tray, hack at his neck with the thin bit till his blood flow across the ground
628. Piss off Darth Vader
629. have him become a treki, he will kill himself cause his life sucks
630. pick his nose with long knives
631. have him criticize a German sniper
632. Make him challenge Hulk Hogan to a roid off
633. invite him to a bond fire. Hes the fire wood
634. make him watch the hills. Instant suicide
635. Shaq attack
636. put a Kelly Clarkson shirt on him, bring him to a Slipknot concert.
637. Choke him with the American flag, stab him with the staff.
638. Drag him to the underworld and feed him to Cerberus
639. A bill board “falls” on him
640. Drive a snowplow through his room
641. Drop him in an octopus tank that has a really pissed off octopus in it.
642. strap him to the Eiffel Tower and blow it up.
643. land a 747 on him
644. put him in a blimp then recreate the Hindenburg accident
645. speak polish to him (beat him with a metal pole)
646. Build a giant magnet. Use it to bring down a satellite on him
647. have him live next to a Nuclear Power plant. He’ll die from Radiation poisoning
648. Send him to a town built on a radioactive dump. Mutants will kill him
649. Rip out his eyes, cut off his fingers and toes. Cut out his tongue and rip out his teeth one bye one. He’ll bleed to death.
650. crush him with a computer from the 1950’s. Google it if you don’t know what one looks like.
651. rig the walls of a room to jut out spikes. Then have them slowly close together. Once everything is prepared, throw him in the room
652. On his toilet seat, place a pressure sensitive bomb. It will blow the **** out of him.
653. put him in a medieval catapult and aim him towards a venomous snake pit.
654. blow him up in a snake pit.
655. Leave him for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
656. Push him out of a plane and have him land a on a church steeple
657.Dress him up as a KKK member and drop him off in the Middle Of Brooklyn of Compton
658. send him to Sudan or Darfur and tell the Janguweed that hes Christian
659. strap him in the Apparatus from the Penal Colony
660. Shoot a flaming arrow at his head
661. shoot multiple flaming arrows through his head
662. give him a sedative, put him in a helicopter with a drunk driver
663. stab him with a pen, dies from ink poisoning
664. Stab him with a knife, pour in into the wound.
665. Give him five shots of acid. He will freak out and jump out of the window to get away from the monster that is really just a house plant.
666. Natural causes

heres some help for afterwards

Put Poop in his mouth and nose till he drowns or can't breath.

I wanna see way #666!!!

So this is what happens when mental problems have sex with tards... Sigh...

tl;dr

Hey man you should check out creature feature, you might like the music, Or atleast the lyrics.