This one time..

This one time I got drunk at a gay pride party [my older sister is bisexual] and i made some dude jeolous cause i was spending to much time with his boyfriend LOL!





[lets try keeping it to things you accully one time did ]

this one time... I was throwing rocks into a lake and accidentally hit a duck

and then the duck attacked me :mellow:

I thought ducks were friendly...

Speaking of ducks... I was once feeding ducks and then a swan came and bit me... so I had avocado in my sandwich and smothered it on his back and then the ducks pecked him

One time i went to the mall.

hax

okay well i actually did pee on the groceries. not too much. i was holding all of them and no one would help because my family likes torturing me and watching me suffer. so i was like fuck u guys and peed on their eggs through my pants.
and i really did poo in a bag in my backyard because i held it in all day and school buses dont have toilets. after that i broke a window to get into the house because i didn't want to stay the night with my neighbors whom i suspect to be elderly pedophiles.
Oh and one time I covered this bitch's car completely with bologna and then coated her house in eggs. that was fun...

mental note, never fuck with Sarah...

messing with sarah is part of my daily routine.



this one time, i locked someones drawer and hid the key. shook the soda before they opened it. peed on someones bed. bruised someone in the face in a game of dodgeball. sold gum and was accused of being a future drug dealer. later on hid that persons lunch. peed in my back yard 5 times already when i didnt have my house key. broke into my own home. threw my backpack into someone and knocked the wind out of em.

i had some good times in middle school.

I know right she scares the crap out of me



This one time i got stranded in hickvile for 2 days because of a snow storm. The town had a bar thats it and i wasn't old enough to drink at the time.
Instead of staying any longer we left anyway even tho all the streets where closed and almost got arrested twice. Also got stuck tons of times and nearly electricuted becuase of downed powerlines.

/fucks with sarah

LOL. thanks. -_-
This one time my cat peed on me. Actually... that's happened a lot.... That fucker was territorial.
This one time nearly every black person in my zoology class in hs nearly beat the shit out of me because they considered me telling this black girl to shut up to be racist. [I gave them cookies.]
This one time this guy asked me out so I punched him in the balls. O_O I don't know why I did that...
Oh and this one time I keyed my boyfriend's car because he physically hurt me so... he deserved it
Oh and in the future i'm going to bash this bitch's windows in because she tried to get me in an accident. So there's my futuristic "this one time..."

O.O.......uhmm..../hides

/offers brownie a cookie

now the question is. if i take the cookie do i get a beat down or not?

me who cares its a cookie..

/takes cookie

Do u have any restraining orders agianst u Castrate? :lol:




This one time i got hit by a car while i was on my bike. The chick driving was stoned and holding a joint and the bitch didn't even offer me some. Nothing broke but my body hurt like a mother fucker for days after.

This one time at band camp, i fell down the bleacher stairs and got my legs stuck inside a bass drum.

This two(one) time i was eating a taco outside with my brosef and these hipsters walked by so i yelled "HIPSTERS!" and they turned around and said "WE'RE NOT HIPSTERS!", but if they really weren't they wouldn't have turned around. that's the beauty of pissing off hipsters.

another time, I was walking to the muni station and I saw a booth of a random guy just sitting brushing his teeth. he was just sitting at this booth BRUSHING HIS GODDAMN TEETH. I think he was advertising for something but i didn't care enough to look... also, I've seen a raptor jesus walking around and three old men circle jerking near city hall. that's SF for you.

at work we have a door that pushes open and closed, like a restaraunt style one. voices and noises can be almost easily heard because of how thin it is.

I was cutting a crapton of steaks for this one lady (She wanted 24 porterhouses ) so when i went back there and pulled a few short-loins from the back, i threw them on the table and my boss asked "what's this for?" i said this bitch wants 24 large porterhouse.

now for the bad news...she heard me say that all the way from my counter about 20 or 27 ft away. she gave me the most evil look and i got written up. lol for me.

only reason i said that is because only half of the short-loin cut can be cut porterhouse style, and the rest would be t-bone. so i had to cut basically 3 or 4 short-loins just so she could be happy. problem with that is, i had to cut the rest into steaks and try to sell them

:lol: Ive had costomers get pissed at me for swearing like a trucker. It wasn't even at them either.